With the long weekend passed, I’m a ripe old 25 year old now. Thanks to everyone who sent me Birthday greetings, cards, phone calls or photos. I can’t tell you how great it is hearing from all of you and knowing how many great people I’ve got in my life.

Friday was not what I expected, but not bad either. I had invited a bunch of people to meet me at one of the local pubs at around 7:00. I arrived there at 6:30 with Gala, had a pint or two and waited for the chaos to begin. By 8:30, 4 people had stopped by to make an appearance, and they left with previous engagements. I was a bit annoyed that people hadn’t shown up and figured I’d just have another pint or two and head home around 9:30 feeling a little birthday buzz. Instead, by 9:30, everyone showed up and the twenty odd people started feeding me drinks as if we were starting fresh…it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where this was headed.

I hadn’t planned on being extremely drunk. The good side was that I did have fun and everyone enjoyed hanging out and celebrating the start of the long weekend. The bad side was that, for one of the only times in my life, I actually blacked out at the bar. Chalk it up to not drinking heavy since New Years Eve or the old “you must be getting old” side of things, but the live band at the pub was playing Happy Birthday for me and I totally blacked out in the midst of it. Looking back, it was hilarious to everyone there.

I woke up down the road from the pub, being carried by Gala and Allister. The birthday bash may not have been what I planned, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Like everything else, it’s silliness in moderation. Compared to the drinking binges of college, I figure this is relatively harmless. No one was hurt, we all laughed, had a good time and another Zub Tale is born. Consider it responsible-stupid drinking as opposed to stupid-stupid drinking. Having that many of the people in Calgary that I like all hanging out together was amazing and knowing they were there to see me have a good time is really cool. It reminded me of the best times in Toronto with the friends I have there.

The rest of the long weekend was just relaxing with no schedule whatsoever. It was great. I bought the third Myst game and have been slowly working my way through the puzzles with Gala. The environments are great and it was a nice way to kill some time. I’m used to having a Lazy Sunday, but having that and a Lazy Monday too was even better.

Now, it’s a shorter work week after the holiday Monday. I can’t really complain. The new class is chugging away, the weather in Calgary is finally hitting summer warmth and things are great overall.

I hope everyone’s holiday weekend went well. Until next week, everyone take care.

Busy, busy, busy…But, I have to admit, it’s a good kind of busy and I don’t really mind.

My new class started on Monday and as always, it’s exhausting and wonderful at the same time. It’s new students with fresh energy and enthusiasm. In fact, the summer course had a waiting list for the first time ever. Normally, we have trouble filling a course that starts in the summer. Students tend to want to wait until the fall and work or play their summer away. This time, the school’s had a great turn out from people interested in the course and the summer course is packed. The fall program is already filling up as well, the quality of student work is increasing rapidly and the management seems really pleased with what I’m doing here.

Last weekend kicked ass. On Saturday I finally got my damage deposit back from the old house. I had waited so long and wondered if I would ever get it. In fact, I’d pretty much budgeted around it and when I finally received it, I got a giddy idea. I’ve been pretty responsible with my money lately and decided to spoil myself a bit. So, I went on a clothing shopping spree! New wardrobe for the Jim!

I went through my closet and got rid of stuff I’ve been holding onto for years. You know, those clothes you have but never ever actually wear anymore? I donated them to the Salvation Army and hit the malls with Gala and my friend Allister for a new summer wardrobe. It was a riot hanging out, trying all kinds of clothes and joking around. The day went by perfectly and by the end of it I had a blitz of new stuff.

Meanwhile back in Ontario, adding to the domestic chaos is my cousin Tammy. Tammy and Andy gave birth to little Justin on Monday May 7th. That’s two kids in two months for our family! With grandchildren all over the place, that should take the heat off me to add to the pool.

It feels so strange thinking of my brother and cousin raising kids. Maybe it’s the nature of the animation industry, but I usually feel like a big kid running around with too much responsibility. I can’t imagine having kids myself with all the other stuff going on in my life. I know they’ll be happy and I’m excited to see the tikes growing up, I just don’t think I could take that on. Besides, this way I can spoil them, teach them funny stuff and not have to change diapers. All the benefits, none of the mess 🙂

Everyone’s growing up and as their priorities change, we’re all becoming such different people. Looking in the mirror lately, it’s tough remembering the insecurities and fears that I had in high school and early on in college. I read older e-mails and letters I wrote to people and I can’t believe how frightened I was of everything. I put so much stock in what other people thought instead of what I felt was right. Now, I have no problem listening to other people, but I know what I feel and am doing what’s right for me. Due to that, I’m feeling great and things are pretty balanced over all.

This weekend should be another chunk of entertainment. The May long weekend and Friday’s my birthday. It’s a good time to take a look at the year that’s passed and what’s coming down the pipe. Of course, it’s also a great chance to party with my friends in Calgary and tear up Kensington a bit. If you’re out on Friday, raise a glass for the ol’ Jimbo turning 25. I’ll have a full report of the festivities next week.

I realized looking at the bleakness of my last Newsletter that everyone probably thinks I’m dead after two weeks of no updates or anything. Sorry about that. Let me assure you that things are much better.

That sickness was two weeks of extremely bad coughs, fever, sneezing and trouble sleeping. Every time I thought I was getting over it, I would be a mess by the time the evening rolled around. I just couldn’t shake the thing and it seemed to be getting worse.

Then, Gala my roommate stepped in and crushed my macho spirit by dragging me to the clinic. In all honesty, it was for the best. The viral infection I had could have given me pneumonia if I hadn’t taken care of it. I ended up missing the ski trip I was supposed to go on that weekend, but I’m finally healed up now.

The new apartment has been wonderful. Eating dinner at an actual table (it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it is), relaxing and hanging out. In fact, in the last two weeks I’ve cooked more meals than I have in years. Eating healthy, feeling better and kicking some butt!

Now that things are almost back to normal, the transit strike’s over and the weather’s getting better, the summer is looking great. Good times are ahead and I can’t wait.

So, this little note should alleviate everyone’s fears that I’m still out of commission. I hope you’re all doing well now and that the summer weather is coming your way too.

Drained. My body’s wracked with a hoarse cough and the lack of sleep I feel is tearing holes in my brain. It’s a hopeless kind of feeling because this viral-whatever will get through me at its own pace and I’m a slave to that timeline.

Needless to say, Easter was not what I expected. Instead of a simple visit to my family and time to relax, I was trapped in a cold sweat and my body was mashed by headaches and sneezing. I arrived in Toronto on Wednesday night, got ill, lied around in agony and came back to Calgary on Monday afternoon. Everything else was a haze of Neo-Citran, Advil, Tylenol and Hals throat candies.

The Christening service went well and seeing my niece was nice, except I couldn’t really be close to anyone. My family was happy to see me, but they couldn’t interact too much with my diseased coughing self. What a waste…

I’m going home soon for a nap and looking forward to getting beyond this ugly cold that attacked me out of nowhere.

That’s all. Nothing else to write right now. Hope I don’t get other people sick. Hope everyone understands why I’m so wiped out…hope I can sleep.

There are longer sunny days and the weather’s slowly improving in Calgary. All in all, it’s about freakin’ time. Now that Spring is finally here and almost everything is unpacked into my new place, it feels like a nice fresh start to things. With all the anticipation of the new pad and better weather, actually being in the midst of it is quite nice.

Getting new furniture for the apartment was an exercise in frustration. I ordered stuff from the Brick and it took them four deliveries to finally bring the correct stuff. Even though I was supposed to have everything last week Wednesday, it took them until this morning to get it right. The disorganization of the whole thing and ability for each person in the chain to pass the buck along really pissed me off. Corporate society seems to thrive on no one in particular taking blame for anything but everyone wanting credit for the good stuff.

The process of unpacking is interesting. Looking through boxes of stuff and wondering how I’ve gathered all this crap. If I can get beyond my genetic need to be a pack rat, I want to chuck out tons of the older junk to streamline my stuff. Useless clothes that don’t fit or are really damn ugly, knick-knacks, receipts, shitty artwork, broken bits of whatever. All of it needs to go.

Talking to friends on Sunday was a good way to get caught up on what everyone’s doing. Hearing people’s plans for the future and how they’re growing up was neat. It reminded me of how lucky I am to be doing something that interests me. It also made me glad I’ve found some nice people out here as well. Looking at some of my Newsletters from last year, it looked like I’d never have a social life. In a weird way, it’s spring cleaning in my room and in my brain.

That’s it for this time. Just a short note to let you all know I’m still chugging along.

Well, the move is almost done and my body is a mess of pulled muscles and sore bones. It didn’t seem like I had a lot of things, but it was a crazy experience nonetheless. The hide-a-bed couch was the real killer of the night and even with five of my friends helping I managed to bash my fingers and get crushed against the wall several times.

Getting ready for work this morning bordered on the surreal. I was exhausted, sore and in a strange place with my things strewn around the living room in a total heap. Organizing all the stuff will probably take many hours and I’ll be happy once it’s done.

So, with all of that out of the way, I should probably get everyone up to speed on the other part of the move. I took on a two-bedroom place so that I could expand my stuff or get a roommate later on. Soon after I made that decision, things shifted and the roommate thing has become a reality right off the bat. I figured I would let you all know before you phoned and wondered why someone else was answering the phone or the answering machine had two names on it.

Even though I’ve bragged about having my own place for a while, I’m actually super excited about moving in with my good friend Gala. She’s a great person with the type of personality that I get along with. We talked extensively about the rooming thing and we’ve got a good understanding of how to make it work well. I wouldn’t have taken on a roommate unless I was positive it would be a great experience. My Dad has always said I was a good judge of people, so you’ll have to take my word for it.

Speaking of my Dad, he had to go to the hospital for a few days over the weekend when he suffered an angina attack. It shook up my parents quite a bit and he’s going to have to change his lifestyle to take care of his heart better. Obviously, it could have been a lot worse, so I’m glad he’s back at home and doing better. When I first got the news, it was pretty nerve wracking stuff. It makes me even more glad I’m coming home for Easter to see the family.

Ugh. My brain is tired and my body aches. I feel like an old man. With this strike continuing and no end in sight, my friend suggested I buy a bike and ride into work every day. It seems plausible, but my body hurts too much to think about that right now.

That’s the update. I hope to hear from you guys soon.

Good things are building. Even though the transit strike seems unending and the first day of Spring in Calgary is a winter storm, I don’t care. It may not be Spring in the sky, but Spring is arriving inside me anyways. Emerging from a frosty hibernation, I’m excited about the Summer months to come.

The weekend that past was very unexpected. St. Patrick’s Day wasn’t a typical drinking blitzkrieg and madness as in previous years. I was completely sober and decided to go dancing instead. It didn’t go the way I had planned, but looking back on it, it wasn’t all bad.

I pick up the keys to my new place on Monday. My next Newsletter should have the new address and phone number attached to it. Calling me on the phone currently isn’t an option (so if you’re wondering why I haven’t called, that’s why). My roommate has cancelled our line and now I have no phone access until I get settled into the new place. He’s not worried about it because he has a cell phone, while I lose out for a couple weeks.

Moving itself should be relatively simple. My new apartment is about 3 blocks from my current place. On Wednesday or Thursday next week, a bunch of the boys I work with are gonna come over, fill their cars and get all my stuff moved in a couple hours. From the look of things, it’ll be relatively painless. I only have two heavy pieces of furniture (a desk and the couch with a hide-a-bed), so the rest is just light stuff along with my boxes of books, movies and art supplies.

Otherwise, things are good. Quite good in fact. Time seems to be moving fast through the bad bits and slowing down for me to enjoy the best parts. As well, the weeks go quickly at work while the evenings and weekends ease along nicely. It’s some kind of Twilight Zone effect, but I can’t complain.

That’s the report for this week. Until next time…

Well, now I’m halfway through March.

Calgary is trapped in a horrific transit strike that has made getting to work everyday a series of hitching rides from co-workers. The traffic is quite hellish and it seems the whole city’s schedule is wrecked. Worse of all, it has played havoc with my students’ attendance and screwing up my ability to lecture and give assignments. I’m repeating so much material as people struggle to get here and the mess of extensions on deadlines is going to make finishing this semester a pain in the butt. Neither side of the strike seems to be giving up and we’re looking at least another two weeks at this rate.

The other parts of life out here are good, though. Moving in to my new place is getting closer and I’m pretty excited. This summer has a lot of potential and I can’t wait to get myself settled in.

The weekend that just passed was incredible for me. Friday really clicked and I did some inspired life drawing. It was that effortless feeling of drawing that you get from time to time when you’re in a creative groove. With a bit of luck, I can tap into that and push my life drawing up another notch.

The rest of the weekend was time spent with my best friends out here. The great conversation, relaxing, dancing at the club and special quiet moments rounded out everything perfectly. It was like a celebration of the way things have improved for me lately. I hope that I can keep this climb going into the summer months.

Looking ahead, I don’t know where it’s all going to head. I’m not an optimist, but I am learning to let the little things go and focus on the overall picture. Selfishly, my happiness is in the forefront of my thoughts and I’m finding better ways to keep that in mind unlike before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m ignoring everyone else or trying to hurt anyone, but I do know that I can’t let other people’s negativity drag me down.

A simple honesty has taken root in me. I’ve found that the more I say what I feel instead of the endless social facades, the better things have been. It may throw people off at first, but in the end it seems to cut through the problems and pull out the core.

Rereading the last few Newsletters I’ve sent out, they seem to be pretty cerebral. Like a diary, I’m trying to type out the benchmarks of what I feel at that particular time. Ups or downs, you get a glimpse at the attitude and events that are shaping me. I hope it’s helpful rather than confusing to you.

The adventure continues…

If I could describe the last week and a bit, then I wouldn’t have to type a paragraph like this explaining why I can’t describe the last week and a bit. Needless to say, it’s been indescribable 🙂

February rocketed past me and yet it was an incredible time of growth, change and decision. There have been lots of little moments, leading to what looks to be a wonderful summer in my future.

First, the announcement from my brother:
“Just a quick note to let you know that Heather and I are parents to Jennifer Lynn-Ann Zubkavich. She was born at 11:22PM Tuesday night (Feb 27, 2001). The baby weighed 7 lbs. 4 ounces.”

My Uncle Iain had video footage of the baby posted on the web within hours. Seeing everyone there and having them talking to me on a little pixilated video file gave me quite a rush. I guess his techno-obsession has its advantages 🙂

I may be heading home for Easter weekend to be there when the baby is christened. Joe and I are still working out the details of the trip. After all the trials and tribulations, Joe’s earned the right to change dirty diapers and I’m very proud of him. He’s a far braver man than I.

Second, I may have secured a new place to live on April 1st. I’ll have confirmation on Monday. Needless to say, I’m excited and scared at the change. When the dust settles, I think everyone will be pleased for me. It’s a quiet place about 3 blocks from my current locale with easy transit access and a great environment for me to do some personal projects and enjoy the neighborhood. Wish me luck as the landlord checks my references and lets me know.

Third, the night course is over and I finally have my evenings back. A real sleep schedule and social life shall follow soon.

Fourth, a follow up to the relationship-talk that was in my last Newsletter. In classic Zub-style, things are more complicated then they seemed. It’s not a bad thing at all, I’ve just got to find out where it’ll all fit together. I may not “get the girl” in a classic literary sense, but I have learned some more important things about myself.

This is the first time I’ve been this comfortable about a relationship or a person I was interested in. No pressure or fear, just a good bond of communication and understanding. It’s reflected the confidence I’ve felt recently in just about everything going on around me. The confidence I feel isn’t a shield or a defensive mechanism against the hammers of the world. It’s a really good balance that’s washed over me throughout this last month. It feels good, and it feels like it’ll last.

So, to end this cerebral Newsletter off on an appropriate note: I had Chinese Food with a really close friend. We talked about the future and what was in store. When it was all done, the facts in front of me were plain to see:

Walking home today, I was strangely calm. There was almost no traffic on the roads and the silence made things feel distant. A light snowfall and crisp but nice weather helped create the perfect atmosphere to think. I’ve got several things on my mind; it’s scary and exciting at the same time. Let me explain…

I fought with my roommate pretty intensely earlier this week. I was pretty much ready to move out March 1st; to hell with the damage deposit. Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and after we worked things out, I decided I’d be staying until the lease expires on April 1st. That will give me enough time to find a nice spot to live, and make for a kick ass summer in my own pad.

It hadn’t dawned on me before, but this will be the first place that’s truly just mine. I’ve always had roommates since I left home and finally stretching out my wings is pretty cool stuff. Even if it’s gonna be small and have no furniture…dammit, it’s all mine!

School is quite good. The night course will be wrapped up at the end of the month and it’ll be nice having the extra cash flow. The day course is also doing well and the students have really started to come out of their shells. It’s fun, but they’re working hard, too. If I can keep up this energy level, they’ll be the best class yet.

And then…the kicker.

After the last newsletter, one tiny paragraph raised a lot of interest in everyone. I got several e-mails from people asking me about this girl I had met that I described as “cute”. Well, two weeks later things are progressing well and I’m starting to get quite nervous.

She’s really amazing and I want this to work out (seems obvious, I know). We talk, laugh and get along very well. Silly talks, serious talks, common hobbies and interests. She’s spontaneous, confident, intelligent and straightforward.

“What’s the problem?” you say.

“Pounce!” you cry.

I want to. I want to ask her out. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’ll work. Call it cockiness, but I’ve always had a vibe that tells me if I’m going to get together with someone. It’s like a little *ping* in the back of my head that proves we’re compatible. Even when circumstances seem to go against the *ping*, the *ping* always ends up being right in the end. It’s a mixed blessing, really.

With this girl, it’s there…I feel the *ping* and now I’ve just got to fight past the fear of rejection and ask her out. It may sound easy because we get along and the *ping* agrees, but there’s always a first time that it could be wrong. It’s the nagging doubts that always accompany these things, no matter how much I try to avoid it.

It’s the chase, and you have to enjoy the moment while you’re in it. I’m on the chase, and I decide when to pounce. Too soon, and it may not be ready… too late, and it could slip away.

When… where… and how do I ask…

It’s the excitement of the chase…
closing in… stay tuned… wish me luck…