Zubby Newsletter – March 14, 2001

Well, now I’m halfway through March.

Calgary is trapped in a horrific transit strike that has made getting to work everyday a series of hitching rides from co-workers. The traffic is quite hellish and it seems the whole city’s schedule is wrecked. Worse of all, it has played havoc with my students’ attendance and screwing up my ability to lecture and give assignments. I’m repeating so much material as people struggle to get here and the mess of extensions on deadlines is going to make finishing this semester a pain in the butt. Neither side of the strike seems to be giving up and we’re looking at least another two weeks at this rate.

The other parts of life out here are good, though. Moving in to my new place is getting closer and I’m pretty excited. This summer has a lot of potential and I can’t wait to get myself settled in.

The weekend that just passed was incredible for me. Friday really clicked and I did some inspired life drawing. It was that effortless feeling of drawing that you get from time to time when you’re in a creative groove. With a bit of luck, I can tap into that and push my life drawing up another notch.

The rest of the weekend was time spent with my best friends out here. The great conversation, relaxing, dancing at the club and special quiet moments rounded out everything perfectly. It was like a celebration of the way things have improved for me lately. I hope that I can keep this climb going into the summer months.

Looking ahead, I don’t know where it’s all going to head. I’m not an optimist, but I am learning to let the little things go and focus on the overall picture. Selfishly, my happiness is in the forefront of my thoughts and I’m finding better ways to keep that in mind unlike before. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m ignoring everyone else or trying to hurt anyone, but I do know that I can’t let other people’s negativity drag me down.

A simple honesty has taken root in me. I’ve found that the more I say what I feel instead of the endless social facades, the better things have been. It may throw people off at first, but in the end it seems to cut through the problems and pull out the core.

Rereading the last few Newsletters I’ve sent out, they seem to be pretty cerebral. Like a diary, I’m trying to type out the benchmarks of what I feel at that particular time. Ups or downs, you get a glimpse at the attitude and events that are shaping me. I hope it’s helpful rather than confusing to you.

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