Gonna do a bit of Christmas shopping today I think. It will feel weird.

I have this strange feeling that almost always overcomes me when I go shopping alone… especially grocery shopping. It’s this weird feeling like I’m much younger than I really am and I’m a wee bit lost. I look at products or foods that I want and I get this strange sensation like I need to ask permission to buy it. I’m an adult, almost 30 and yet I sometimes go shopping alone and feel like I’m a kid cutting classes and trying not to get caught or something to that effect. I think the “setting your own hours” freelance thing exaggerates that feeling as well.

I think-double-think like crazy with groceries when I’m alone. I put stuff back a lot or compare sizes and prices like crazy. I get very quiet and reserved. I have no idea why. I’m not an idiot, I know generally what I want to buy, but I hesitate far more. Shopping with other people I never seem to have this problem.

The apartment’s currently quiet and mostly clean. There’s some artwork that needs to be done but I think I’ve got it scheduled out okay with a bit of a crunch coming tonight and tomorrow. There’s some work stress stuff, but I’m trying to be reasonable and understand that the things getting mucked up aren’t my fault and aren’t things I can do anything about. If the time comes that I can change the course of it, then I will. That doesn’t make it all carefree, but it does allow me to get through it better.

A bit tired. Heading out to shop and feel like a lost kid. Later.

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