Friday Mopey

I had a couple amazing days this week… balanced and productive. It’s Friday and I should be excited about the weekend and happy some of the major work humps have finally passed. Instead I woke up groggy and a bit irritated. A couple plans for today fell through and things just seem more annoying today.

I know it’s common for internet forum fandom to bitch and moan about things. It’s easier to rant and complain than to compliment. Things can be micro-shredded with critique far easier than deconstructed in a positive manner. Some Exalted fans complained about my artwork on a forum. No matter how you try to paint that differently or say it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, it stings anyways. I love Exalted and I’m proud to be part of the line.

Is my artwork where I want it to be? No.
Is it evolving? Yes.
Do I have the time to practice my skills as much as I’d like with Udon management, teaching and personal life craziness all colliding at once? Not a chance.

As a professional, you have to take fan criticism point-blank. Whether they praise you up or take a squat in your mouth, you’re supposed to grin and deal with it. Today, I’m not in the mood.

I know when I’ve done good stuff. I know when I’ve handed in stuff I wish I could take more time on. When I’m feeling particularly displeased with my artwork I start to feel like I’m at Udon riding the coat tails of better artists. I know in reality that’s not the case, but when doubt slams me hard I get that feeling and it really hurts.

Hilariously enough, I have artwork I’ve gotta get done this weekend. Part of me is motivated to kick the hell out of it. Part of me just wants to go back to bed and hit reset on today.

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