Zubby Newsletter – January 9, 2001

Welcome to 2001… My God, where the heck did 2000 go?

No flying cars, silver jumpsuits or laser guns yet. It looks like the new millennium’s filled with disappointments already 🙂

The last half of my vacation in Ontario was almost as varied as the first half. It was quieter in many ways, but fulfilling, too.

Shopping with friends and wandering Toronto felt nostalgic, but distant. The places are similar, but don’t have the same connections they once did for me. I can’t imagine how many times I’ve wandered Queen Street West, but I don’t recall it ever feeling like this. I knew my way around, but felt like I was seeing things kind of fresh.

Some of my friends were away, others I just couldn’t get a hold of or our schedule’s didn’t mesh. I missed seeing Omar, Simon, Phil, Jeremy, Nifer, Mark, Ian, Paul and Colin. I hate when there’s not enough time… I thought 16 days would be enough. Don’t get me wrong, I was pleased with who I did see, but there’s always more it seems.

Heading into Oakville, I hooked up with the Residence kids. Cornflake was able to stay for New Year’s Eve instead of boogying back to Halifax, which was a nice surprise. I decided to stick around as the year changed over and toast the beginning with a part of the Sheridan Gang.

Leaving Oakville on the Go Train marked the start of the end. With the next few days, good byes came frequently as I wrapped up my visit out east. Leaving each group of friends felt weird. Each time I see them, the little changes add up to larger ones. We’re all connected, but the separation is changing us. I know that most of these changes are for the better, but it’s odd to witness it in stages like this.

Looking through old boxes at my parent’s place, I found print outs of old e-mails from Humber and Sheridan. I couldn’t believe how insecure I was. I get pangs of it now, but back then I wrote such depressing stuff like my life was crashing every single week. I’ve really shifted from that pessimistic thought process to something a little bit more reasonable. I read them, and barely remembered typing some of it. It gave me a good benchmark as to how far I’ve grown. I kind of needed that with the ups and downs I’ve been experiencing lately.

Hmm…I’m not as verbose about this half of my trip as I was the first. It’s not meant to be a let down, or mean that I didn’t have a good time. I think it’s because I’m back in Calgary typing this and feeling a little lost. I’m not homesick and going back to work went fine.

I’m just curious what the year will bring and what I have to do to grab hold of it.

Grab hold.

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