Zub Tales

Projects are moving forward at a brisk pace. It’s hit that fine line between ‘hectic’ and ‘adventurous’ that I actually enjoy. There’s a steady stream of challenges coming in the door but we’re conquering them.

Portfolio hand-ins for the college and upcoming convention stuff will ramp up the pressure but I’ve got a pretty good idea of what’s coming now. I finally feel like I understand and can handle it all, even if I don’t know the specifics of how each part will go. There’s a comfort in finally accepting that this is what I do for a living. It’s not a stop-gap or holdover until I find something else.

On a personal level, things are also very good for a change.
I’m finally dating again and it’s going well.

There, I said it.

I did some dating over the summer and it was bumpy-good-difficult. I spent time with good people but I honestly think I tried to head back in to the whole thing prematurely. Even if my last full-blown relationship ended in July 2004 (but then skidded along in a weird almost-Limbo for a good year and a half afterwards), mentally I still wasn’t ready. My confidence was all over the place and the work stuff I’d piled on top to keep myself distracted from dwelling on it made that kind of socializing even more difficult.

I know my friends and family have been wondering if/when I would head back in to relationship waters. ‘Subtle’ inquiries, talk of setting me up with people… well meaning but stressful. I had to be comfortable with just being ‘me’ before I could look at opening up again on that level. It’s not the same as being confident while teaching or socializing in general. I think my confidence in those other two areas lead people (myself included) to believe that everything was settled and I was ready to dive back in to relationship stuff.

I don’t talk about my relationships much, especially in this journal. My past two steady girlfriends were dead-set against me talking about them in my journal/old e-mail newsletters. That was at the same time as I was just starting to get involved with internet community stuff, so it set the tone for my silence on the subject.