February blahs with strange positive moments tossed in for variety…

After a fine and warm weekend, the winter shit has struck back with evil intent. Frosty walks in the morning make my body ache and riding the train huddled between sniffling business people is about as fun as it sounds. I kind of like using my time commuting as a thinking period before the day starts, but it hasn’t been that way lately. Get on, get off, trudge through the cold to work.

The evening drawing course has left me pretty groggy. My lectures during the day have still been fun, but I’m finding myself being far more absent minded as of late. It’s probably sleep deprivation mixed with fast food in the system. I swear that my mind is like an Etch-A-Sketch… one good shake and I forgot what I was talking about. I don’t want to be a mindless drooling freak when I get old. I hope medical science catches up with my stupidity in time 🙂

April 1st is the target date for getting my own place. I’ve started house and apartment hunting in my area and will expand the search as the month goes on. I’ll keep you guys posted.

My boss took me out for lunch today with some of our other co-workers. Seeing Graeme there with his kids made me feel strange. I don’t know if I’d have the patience to take care of kids. It seems so mind numbing to me, I wonder if that’ll ever change? I’m so selfish about my own things and suddenly turning that totally towards someone who needs you like that is too bizarre for me to imagine at this stage.

As well, I may have met some new people and started the tiny spark of a social life. I went out last night just to hang out and had some fun. It’s taken a long time, but things are getting a bit easier as far as meeting new people go. It can be tough just trying to be yourself when you want so hard to be friendly. I tend to try too hard and come off a bit eccentric. Or maybe, that’s closer to the real me… I don’t know.

One of the girls I talked to last night was actually quite cute. Funny enough, we’re chatting on ICQ while I’m typing this e-mail. In the midst of the February blah, it’s a nice surprise. Even if nothing comes of the social push, it’s sort of fun trying some new things.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I’m sure I’ll hit some gloom spots. As much as I try to forget about it, it does stab a bit at times. I think between the upcoming move, work and social nonsense, I’m feeling a bit neurotic. I find a balance and then over compensate for it. I guess that’ll never change.

Check the old webpage for more Life Drawing goodness. With that evening course and Friday sessions, I’m life drawing 3-4 times a week. Werner, my teacher from Sheridan, would be so pleased. If my stuff doesn’t improve with this intensity, I don’t know…

Anyways, that’s the deal at this stage. Be good and if you can’t be good, then be good at it.

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