I wish this were more coherent.

This is going to come off really cryptic, but because this newsletter is the closest thing I have to a diary, I have to vent somewhere.

I was almost positive that I had figured this situation out. There was someone here in Calgary that I was quite interested in. It seemed damn mutual and last night, something turned out very well and I was on top of the world. As cheesy and overly dramatic as this may seem… it sure as hell didn’t last long.

I figured I would circumvent problems by taking the bull by the horns and telling her how I felt. I wasn’t going to let it be a cheesy romantic comedy and always wonder “what if”. I felt it, she did to some degree and so it was time to talk about it. I was calm and forward and it just skidded to a halt.

Apparently, what was talked about the night before was not what was to be today…

When a girl tells you they want to stay as friends, it’s a pretty good indicator that she’s not attracted to you or you have some flaw that is not going to make this work. Ouch… even if that’s not true, it’s kind of hard not to feel that way.

Inadvertently, next week marks one year of being very, very single… groan.

Now I remember why I was so focused on work. Even the uphill battle of getting an animation studio on the map is dwarfed by simple relationship letdowns.

I can’t get into details and I don’t think I really want to. But, I just wanted to vent and my friends and family, no matter where you are, seemed like a good place to go. This isn’t a cry out for cheesy “you’re a good guy” e-mails that will surely follow this message. I don’t need compliments or to be patted on the back. I just wanted to blab and know that it was heard. I’m still confident about the rest of my life here, it’s just the damn relationship thing I can’t get straightened out.

Signing off until next week…

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